Those of you who know me best will know my attitude to ageing. It’s better than the alternative.

I have written books for eight years now about people getting older and celebrating new wisdom and a different stage of life where they have a freedom and an attitude that they didn’t have before.

In a society where I often hear people say ‘there are too many old people’ and blame ‘boomers’ for putting pressure on the NHS and housing, I think there’s a wee bit of logic to that. About 18.6% of people in England and Wales were 65 or older during the 2021 census. Experts expect 27% of the UK population to be 65 or older by 2072. This means there are fewer working-age people to support retirees. Older people use health and social care services more often. Public spending on pensions and medical care will rise.

But be careful where the blame is placed. Any single group of people shouldn’t be targeted for the state of the country while the richer ones often don’t pay enough and government systems aren’t fit for purpose.

There seems to be a lot of discrimination against people based on race, religion, sexual orientation, disability, and gender identity. And age.

We’re all getting older.

Three of my contemporaries have been called ‘old’ recently, in not the best circumstances. ‘Look at that silly old man on the bike,’ some children yelled at a friend who was cycling along a Devon canal path, keeping fit. ‘Watch out for that pathetic old woman,’ someone said to a relative of mine when she was parking a car outside a supermarket to do the shopping.

I’m not sure that’s OK. Mind you, I know someone who offered their seat on a bus to an older lady and she boomed, ‘I’m quite capable of standing, thank yoooou…’ in a way that showed little empathy.

Empathy and kindness. That’s maybe what we need. ‘Old’ shouldn’t be an insult, but often it is, sometimes accompanied with a second insult. ‘Dirty old man.’ Daft old git.’ Old codger/ coot/ fogey/crone.’

I have friends who love the word crone. They’ve reclaimed it. It means a wise, respected elder and not an unpleasant or ugly old woman.

Let’s take a moment to look at this ugly thing. Are older people ‘ugly’ because they get old? I don’t see it. Older people are attractive. I don’t just mean the Clooneys and the Pitts and the Mirrens. I mean most people I know. Still gorgeous in a strong, self-assured, grown-in-to-who-I-am-now sort of way.

Don’t even get me started on the ‘older men are silver foxes and older women are grey hags’ rubbish.

What does ugly mean anyway? Look at a Boxer dog. A blob fish. Most creatures are beautiful.

Discrimination on all levels makes me cross. I can’t be dealing with it.

So the other day one of my kids showed me a picture of a house and said ‘Why don’t you live here, Mum?’ It was a bungalow. I replied without thinking. ‘Bungalows are for older people.’ So I received that goggle-eyed not-very-patient look, as if I’d said something silly. As if to say, ‘yes, of course, and you’re one of them now.’

In fact, bungalows are for people who want to live in a bungalow. For whatever reason. Enough said.

It’s not for me though.

The future care of old people worries me. A wonderful friend of mine works in the age-care service. I could tell you about the horror stories I’ve heard, or the ones that I experienced myself with a beloved parent in a system that was understaffed and badly run, but let’s just say she’s a kind and lovely person faced with daily care dilemmas and not paid half of what she’s worth.

I know someone who says when the time comes, he’ll sell up and go on a perpetual world cruise. He’ll have a bed, three meals a day, his washing done and nice scenery until the day he pops his clogs.

Some people will have nothing to sell up. Respectful care of the aged or vulnerable should be a human right.

I often look to the northern Europeans for the answers. Elderly care in the Netherlands focuses heavily on supporting older adults to live independently at home for as long as possible through integrated community and municipal support. I think maybe I need to find my tribe, and we’ll all live together under one roof, supporting each other each day. We don’t want to be a burden to our kids, but we still want to live riotously and have fun.

For eight years now, I’ve been writing books about how older people can have second chances, travel, go on adventures, be mischievous, meet new people, fall in love, start again, change. The first one was A Grand Old Time. The new one, out next month, is Golden Days at the Vintage Volumes Bookshop. Being over 50, 60, 70, and the rest gives people opportunities to discover who they are again and to do things differently. To live in the moment. To enjoy everything they can.

As long as we have our health, and each other, we can smile.

Keep smiling xx