A while ago I blogged about that fascinating subject, which famous people would you invite to a dinner party? It’s probably been my most visited post over the years. And now I’m thinking about it again. And changing my choices.

Do I even have dinner parties? I have friends round to eat a lot. To share supper. Or lunch. Or tea. Or outdoor cooking with a pot bubbling over the fire. Does that constitute a dinner party?

And dinner party food involves usually something sumptuous to eat. Not vegan tagine or pie and mash followed by blackberry and apple crumble. But something others might find delicious, with real cream or meat or eggs. Or packet pasta. All of which I don’t like and wouldn’t cook. So dinner party is a debatable concept.

But people are made welcome at my home, and the conversation always bubbles, even if the spaghetti bolognese doesn’t. I like sharing food and chatter with nice people. And wine or beer or cider or water. It’s a nice thing to do.

And whether it’s new friends or neighbours, or friends I know well, or ones I don’t see often enough or family, it’s always an occasion I want to celebrate properly.

After all, when it’s me by myself, I always eat a simple bowl of stew. Every time it’s veggie stew and beans. Just me and a book or a football game. So sharing with others is lovely.

So back to that question. That big, successful, memorable dinner party, all those famous faces, those sparkling personalites. Who to choose, who to choose…?

I started to think carefully about it. I couldn’t just invite all the people I like – there are too many and they’d have to be compatible and get on – and there will be no table setting for anyone called Trump or Rees Mogg. But I want people who’ll chatter and laugh and even agree sometimes, who’ll like each other. Social tension and calm digestion aren’t great bedfellows. And of course, I have to like the people too.

Then there’s the problem of them still being alive. Hypothetically, I suppose, since this is only speculation, I can invite people who’ve passed. The ‘ghost table’ is an interesting proposition, although I have no idea what they’d eat. Or how. But it would be nice to have special guests like Maya Angelou and Benjamin Zephaniah, Robin Williams, Albert Camus, Oscar Wilde. Mae West. Boudicca.

I’d love to share a bottle of red wine with Boudicca and talk about feminism. Germaine Greer could join us. And Sojourner Truth. And Mary Woolstonecraft. And Simone de Beauvoir. And Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. That would be a nice party.

Did you ever read the play or see a performance of Caryl Churchill’s Top Girls? I recommend it. She has a great selection of guests at her table: Isabella Bird (1831–1904), a real-life 19th-century English traveller and writer. Lady Nijo (1258– 1306), a 13th-century Japanese concubine to the Emperor who became a Buddhist nun. Dulle Griet, a peasant woman from a 16th-century painting by Pieter Bruegel the Elder. Pope Joan, a legendary female Pope from the Middle Ages who disguised herself as a man, and Patient Griselda, a ridiculously obedient fictional character found in Chaucer’s The Clerk’s Tale. Now there’s a fascinating guest list. And of course, sparks do fly.

So, there’s another question. How sparky or saucy do we want our guests’ conversations to be? Do we want polite chatter or flowing conversation or raucous arguments? Do we want big egos and straight talkers, or good listeners, or a mixture of both? I have to consider chemistry.

I think we want the fusion of warmth that comes from people who admire or like each other.

Thinking about inviting current celebrities on TV, I’d go for David Mitchell, who’s a tremendous wit and brilliant in Ludwig, and of course then I’d invite Victoria Coren-Mitchell. Both are intelligent and opinionated. And probably admirable. I might invite Colin Murray, the football pundit – I’ve seen him on TV and he’s bright and warm and knowledgeable. I might invite the Obamas as I think they’d be fun and interesting and they’d get on with the Coren-Mitchells and Colin Murray. John Bishop might be funny. And Emo Phillips.

But what if the alcohol flowed too much and it all became a riot? I know exactly who I’d want sitting next to me. John Cooper Clarke and Dolly Parton. They’d be incredible fun. Warm, witty, good with the one liners. Lemmy Kilminster for the Jack Daniels. And Little Richard for the energy, especially if he wants to get up and perform.

Which brings me to people I admire who’ve departed. Bob Marley. Amy Winehouse. Gerard Manley Hopkins. Van Gogh. Percy Shelley. Stop! I can’t imagine them passing the salt and making small talk together. Bob to Gerard, ‘What’s with this sprung rhythm, brethren?’ Gerard to Bob, ‘It’s not dissimilar to your guitar chords in Rat Race, my good fellow.’

So what about fictional characters? That has to be a safe bet, choosing people from books and films. I could have a lot of fun with that as a dinner party concept.

I’d invite Sherlock Holmes, (the Robert Downey Jnr one). Morgan Le Fay. Heathcliff. Offred. Celie from The Color Purple. The Scarlet Pimpernel. Darius and Sonia Kincaid from The Hit Man’s Bodyguard. Alfie Solomons – Tom Hardy’s character in Peaky Blinders. Both Withnail and I. Most of Shakespeare’s tragic characters – they’d get through a lot of wine. That would be a night to remember. A riot.

I’d love a dinner party with some of my own fictional characters. DI Archie Darling, definitely. Evie Gallagher. The Silver Ladies, especially Minnie Moore. And Bisto. And Agnes from The Lady of the Loch. And The Wicked Lady… hang on! The list could go on and on.

This blog post might need to be revisited. I need to stage a hypothetical dinner party with the poets and writers and artists I love, philosphers, politicians, wits. And another one with all my favourite characters from books. Another dinner with that group of interesting women. Then I’d have to have another one with me and a dozen interesting men. All different menus and different events for so many reasons.

Oh, and one with my friends and family. That’s most important.

Right. I’ll give it more thought. Then I’ll be back to you.

Meanwhile, who’s on your list? I can’t wait to find out.