Didn’t someone on TV accused of misconduct recently say that his critics were mainly ‘middle class women of a certain age.’ I think I heard that on the news…

A certain age. Let’s unpack that.

It means the number of their age is left deliberately vague – perhaps too many years have passed that it’s impossible to count – or perhaps the accumulation of years is too horrendous to mention. It certainly refers to women who are no longer young. They are probably in their forties, fifties – or, heaven forbid! – older.

Old, even. Whenever that is.

I think he’s saying that a ‘certain age’ is a number which is a bit embarrassing for women. It’s more polite not to mention it. But the implication is that these women are getting on a bit and society shouldn’t be comfortable with it, because old means bad somehow. By refusing to be precise, it’s a not-too-subtle insult.

As a writer of books in three genres, one being the ‘golden/silver’ genre about women who are approaching sixty or older – Cecily Hamilton in The Silver Ladies Do Lunch is 91 – I’m interested in widespread attitudes to older people.

In my cozy crime Seal Bay series, the four generations of Mutton women are 7, 29, 63 and 82. I suppose the man on TV would call two of them ‘of a certain age’: Morwenna and Lamorna. Elowen and Tamsin are young.

Hmmm.

My latest ‘golden/ silver’ novel The Silver-Haired Sisterhood was published last week, and I’ve had some great comments from reviewers of all ages. It’s what you’d except in an industry where reviewers are lovely people, unbiased, articulate and thoughtful, although someone did call one of my characters a ‘batty old woman.’ But everyone who reviewed the novel seemed to ‘get’ it, to celebrate that women – men, even! – of a certain age are still interesting and funky, and can still have fun.

I might suggest to the TV presenter that it’s important to remember that all people, older and younger, deserve respect. They’re just like everyone else – they’re human. They can be happy, sad, lonely; they make friends, celebrate, get things wrong, help each other out and have a great time. They can fall in love; they are attractive and loveable in their own right.

Not just as someone’s gran. Or as a client for the latest funeral plan.

In short, they still exist. They’re not invisible.

Most of us get that, thank goodness, and we enjoy stories with central characters of all ages. All people. Inclusive.

I want to celebrate inclusivity in all the books I write, in every genre.

The man who made the comment about the women ‘of a certain age’ is, specifically, 60 years old, although his wife is 21 years younger than him, so she probably isn’t quite ‘of a certain age’ yet. That’s interesting. I don’t know much about what he’s done wrong, if he has at all – I don’t think the case is resolved yet, so it’d be wrong to make any assumptions, but he certainly shot himself in the foot by targeting of a group of articulate, experienced women.

Big mistake.

Many of the men and women in my books are in their later years. When I first started writing in this genre, I wanted to celebrate wonderful women like my mum, who never featured as central characters in books about life and love and mischief. Now I and many of my friends are approaching their age and I find I was probably right – we’re simply a generation of people who are just a bit older than we used to be.

If you ignore a couple of wrinkles, we’re just the same as we always were. Bright, good looking, mischievous, adventurous, sexy, hopeful. Gobby. Take your pick.

As the years pile up, perhaps ‘things start to go’ a bit. Maybe some joints are creakier, the waistline a bit thicker, hair a tad thinner, eyesight and hearing not as sharp as they used to be. Or maybe not. We’re alive and it doesn’t always matter. But in a world where Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp are 60 and Denzel Washington is 69, Al Pacino is 84, age is a number that we want to keep ascending. Don’t we?

Women ‘of a certain age’ include Meryl Streep, Oprah Winfrey, Cher and Iman. Strong, vital, confident women. Brigitte Bardot is 90. What role models they are!

What more evidence do we need that it’s great to be ‘of a certain age’?  It’s better than the alternative, any day of the week.

Which brings me to ask the question – why did the TV celebrity need to avoid being specific about the women’s ages? He could have said ‘older’ or ‘over 40’, but perhaps he thought he was being subtle in his insult. The word ‘certain’ does it – it means ‘unmentionable’ here. Is being over 40 embarrassing? Something people should be ashamed of? And since the man who said it was 60, is it just women who should feel bad?

Do men like him escape the apparent embarrassment of old age somehow? I hope they don’t feel anxious about ageing. I know so many men in their 60s and above who are gorgeous. Women too. We just shouldn’t care less. Why mention it at all?

Let’s celebrate being older, being happy and being together. Being alive.

What is beauty anyway? It goes beyond stereotype and limited definition. It goes beyond class and race and gender. And age.

If you’re of a ‘certain age’, you can be certain of that. x