I am always learning, and this is a new year,so there is more to learn. So far this January, I’ve read about a lot of people’s resolutions in their blogs and they are invariably wise ones, mostly dealing with self-care, self-awareness and improving the quality of their lives. That is as it should be.

 So I have to look inside myself too, in order to think of a good resolution. It has to be something that will help me grow as a person, or continue to grow, and it has to be useful to me and to others.

I am finding the process of ageing fascinating and liberating. I was brought up as a child to speak my mind and to stand up for others. But now I care less what others think. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t mean that I don’t appreciate wisdom.  Quite the opposite. I think highly of people who are thoughtful, intelligent and positive. I listen carefully, give their views much thought and use their ideas to develop my own. I value others’ considered opinions.

But a famous philosopher – it might have been Aristotle or Socrates – added ‘in my opinion’ after everything he said, and I am acutely aware that sometimes, people proffer a judgement as if it were something more.

Fact is fact, it is provable. An opinion is a wonderful thing, but it is only an opinion. The two things are clearly not the same, so we should never react to an opinion as if it is anything else.

I have strong opinions too. I believe in moderation, treating others with kindness and love. I believe in harming nothing as far as possible and treading the earth lightly. I believe in being considerate and supportive.

In the past, I’ve often take myself out of situations that I find uncomfortable. Bullying is one of them, and I am constantly aware that social media and television provide a platform for affirmation and shared beliefs which sometimes leads to collaborative bullying. I have followed the debates linked with people such as J K Rowling and Carol Vorderman, and while I admire their well-phrased views, I don’t respect the bitter fallout from other people who indulge in a warfare of opinion that crosses the boundaries of respect.

I love football. The other day I was watching a game on TV as a neutral, and I heard an experienced pundit call a goalkeeper ‘useless.’ The pundit has a track record for negative comments; he regularly refers to players as ‘poor’ and derision seems to dominate his views. I find that disrespectful, arrogant and dangerous. As a role model, the pundit’s behaviour will be copied by fans and will find its way onto terraces, streets, and to social media. It is a destructive way of speaking. The goalkeeper in question – his name was Turner – made a single, human mistake. Later in the game, he played really well. But negative opinions used as an imitation of fact are cruel and irresponsible. We need to build up people’s confidence and skills honestly, not knock them down so that we somehow feel a bigger person.

Recently James Cleverly MP said something he considered to be a joke about spiking his wife’s drinkwith a date rape drug. In my opinion, he should not have said it. The home secretary made his ‘joke’ last month, just hours after announcing plans to crack down on the issue. He talked about putting “a little bit of Rohypnol in her drink every night,” adding that it was “not really illegal if it’s only a little bit.”

In my opinion, his words are disrespectful to anyone who has suffered from the effectsof any date rape drug. His ‘joke’ is rude to his wife. It is worse than thoughtless – it ‘s not acceptable.

I get a vegan recipe popping upon my Facebook page from time to time. Occasionally, I go into ‘commemts’ to find the ingredients. That’s not all I find there. Lots of people saying that the food looks delicious. Some saying things like ‘change all the vegan rubbish for proper food and I might eat it.’ Others replying, ‘why don’t you just **** ***?’ Really? It’s just a recipe…

So here’s my New Year’s resolution, based on all of the above.

I will be as sweet and supportive as I can to everyone, especially to people who are treated disrespectfully at the hands of bullies. I will call the abusive behaviour out, politely, respectfully, but in my opinion, I will suggest that we cannot stand by and watch others treated badly. Whether the issue is to do with a neighbour or asylum seekers, people we know well or people we will never meet, I will write letters, say what is in my heart and speak out on their behalf.

Yes, it is only my opinion. But I believe bullying is not tolerable and we should aim for a supportive, thoughtful and kind culture of respect.

On that note, May I wish you all a happy 2024, the best, healthiest and happiest yet, filled with love